Doesn't have to be big to be pretty

My husband and I recently decided to makeover our laundry room closet. Unfortunately we're way to over eager to get before pictures, so you'll have to settle with the after pics. This is not our first reno.

Since we moved into our home two years ago we have ...

        Replaced all of the faucets in every bathroom and the kitchen,
        Painted the bathroom cabinets [can't stand faux wood, white is much better],
        Painted everything [I'm talking every wall,  ceiling, all the trim. If it could be painted, we painted it.],
        Replaced the kitchen/foyer floors with a fabulous little secret called Allure flooring.
                  [No, they're not paying me or even aware of this little shout out, I was just that impressed      
                               with the product and the costumer service. Story for another time.]

I'm sure there's more to the list that I can't think of now.

Here's a little list of things we've learned along the way.

1. Don't fret too long or hard over paint colors, some will be good, some will be bad. We tried buying testers and doing that whole bit. I have [literally] 20 some odd testers. Most of the colors we chose we do not own testers for. Go with your gut, pick a color, paint the room. If you don't like, repaint the room. Testers generally don't look anything like the room will turn out anyhow. The perfect shade of green looks really bad next to that hideous shade of yellow the previous owners loved.
2. Set a budget, but make sure you're okay spending twice that much. Never fails. Always ends up more expensive than you thought.
3. Set a timeline, but make sure you're okay spending twice that much. Again, never fails. 
4. Small spaces can be just as calming and fun to recreate as a large room. You don't have to tackle the whole house to make it feel like a new home. My favorite change thus far has been the kitchen floors. It took 3 days and made it feel like you were walking into a brand new home. 

So start small, find a small piece of your home you can make your respite. 

Here is my latest respite, our laundry closet. [Forgive the bad pictures, the space is small.]

Best attempt at a full view. 

Ledge over the waster/dryer. Made with a single board held up with trim.
Super easy.
This will soon be the home of a cute small lamp to be a night light.

Shelving is made with pieces of wood held with 1x2 strips nailed into the wall. 

Love. LOVE. Love my new laundry soap glass container. Simple glass container with stick on lettering.

Our Little Monster ...

Our little monster is turning one. It's crazy, I know! [Yes in 2 months, but I need time for this to sink in.]

Those of you that know me know I love to throw a good party. And boy am I ever excited to throw a kids party. [Less stress, bubbles and cake and they'll have a good time.] Decorating for a theme party is a favorite past time of mine, and this will be no exception. There is a Pinterest board, no worries. So, armed with a brand new Cricut, here I go. Delving into the world of children's birthday parties.



So the theme?!? [Drum roll, please.]

monsters!!

Of course.
      Our little Monster is turning one! ROAR!

It doesn't hurt that that's her new favorite word these days, ROAR!

So I may have gone a little overboard with the theme. Hee hee. Oops. But here's how it all went down.

Invitations - Yep, those are sparkly pink monsters you see there. :o)

Somehow we managed to pull of  making a monster cake. Isn't she the cutest! I was so excited about how it turned out. Only took 6 hours! *smile* Thanks to my mom-in-law #2 and my bestie for helping make it happen.

And of course, Madison had to have her own baby monster as a smash cake. Too adorable!

The next day party prep began. Complete with 2 {yes two} dozen balloons, monster included!

Pink and purple flowers adorned all the tables. What party would be complete without flowers? 

 {Monster Menu}

Monster Fingers (Veggie spears and dip)
Monster Toes (Tater tots)
Monster Eyes (Meatballs)
Monster Teeth (Doritos)
Monster Goo (Buffalo Cauliflower)
A monster watermelon

And of course, some drool of monsters *wink*

Custom drink labels. Completed with paper ribbon, an amazing find from World Market. 

 And monsters peaking out everywhere!

And 'Adopt A Monster station was set up with a sign that read:

"We may look fierce but we're friendly as can be.
We need a little person to love us and fill us with glee.
Please choose one of use to take home with you,
We'd love to become part of your crew!"

A clothesline was also set up with her pictures from each month
and clothes from the corresponding time frame.

And had a framed picture for everyone to sign, complete with her foot prints.

Monster bubbles were placed outside, 'mini monsters of fun' for children young and old to enjoy.

 Our little monster has a blast with the photo stand-up/bean bag toss and an over abundance of balloons {did I mention, two dozen}. 

She dug into the cake ... slowly! But loved every bite!

This about sums up the day. One lone monster and a half a cake.

The day was a great success. As you can see we hired a photographer {Renae Frances Photography}, the best idea ever!!! It allowed my husband and I to visit and relax and have fun with our baby girl and feel reassured that the memories were being captured. 

Everyone had a great time, adults and children alike. 

Now to plan birthday #2. Hee hee.

A little different each time ...

"I raised my own kids, you know."

We spent the day [well the time between naps] at my mother's house today. My aunt was also there, another mother herself. As I made decision after decision regarding the care of my daughter, I could see [and sometimes hear] the disapproving thoughts.

"She just put the whole thing in her mouth." Well yea, how else is she going to chew it.

"She fell, pick her up. It hurt her." She's not crying, she looked to me for a reaction I smiled and said "boom" as I do each time she falls, she realized it was O.K. and carried on with her business. If she had cries or looks hurt, I comfort her and explain what happened.

"She needs help standing." Yes, right now she does need help sometimes, but if I help her all the time she won't learn to do it herself.

Small things, really. But they made me think about all the big things we've disagreed on over the months. And then it made me think about all the mothers ...

As a nurse, I've come to realize that as a society we don't like gray. We like black, we like white, and any other color. But not gray. We want clear answers.

2 + 2 = 4. Always.

But sometimes 2 + 2 = 5, or 6, or 28 for that matter. It's not just that easy. Yep, once again we're back to breaking those molds.

Parenting is a lot like ... recovering from surgery. Baring any major complications, I can tell you for certain that you will get cut, you will hurt, and it will heal. But that's where the certainty ends. How long it will take, how much it will hurt, when you will heal, what the scar will look like, will you need more surgeries, and a million other questions I can't answer because it depends on you. I can give advice, make suggestions, tell you what has worked for other people, but it depends on you.

You will have a child [or children if you're lucky], you will teach them things, they will grow up. And that too is where the certainty ends. What you teach them, how you teach them, how they grow, what they eat, how they talk, when they walk, personality, the list goes on. No one can answer these questions. Again, we can give advice, make suggestions, tell you what has worked for us, but it depends on you, your family, your child(ren).

Back to my mother. I see a lot of defensiveness when I speak of our choices in learning with Madison. There are no 'bad' mothers, every involved parent is a 'good' parent. We each want what's best for our children and do the best we can with the information we have. And that is the difference these days. The information.

My mother got her information from her mother, friends, coworkers, and a few family members. The information we're using to make decisions has come from my mother, Scott's mother, friends, coworkers, family members, the internet, journals, books, research, research, and more research. I'm not in any way saying we're making 'better' choices these days, but we are making more informed choices. Again, doing what we feel is best with the information available.

We [mothers] need to stop comparing our decisions with others, feel empowered in being a mother, feel empowered in making those decisions, and know
                                                                            you are an amazing mom!

Listen to advice, know it worked for them, and decide whether you feel it would for you. The choices you make have to fit you, your family, your child. I wish 2 + 2 always equaled a happy, healthy, well adjusted child, but it rarely does. The equation is a little different each time.

Your moment of baby zen. 

Pythagorean Theorem

I was [again] recently told that I need to spend time away from her so I can show her how to be a strong, independent adult. "Being away from her is good for her, let her see you being independent and successful." It just didn't feel right. [Not to mention how is a 9 month old supposed to know what I'm doing when she can't see me.] Then it dawned on me ... 

You can't teach the Pythagorean Theorem without first teaching addition.

She needs to learn trust, self esteem, love and caring, and in her own time will learn autonomy. These are [baby] steps. You can't force a child to learn independence before they master trust, just as you can't force advanced algebra before addition is mastered, along with many other [baby] steps in between. 

Once she is older [much older] and can comprehend that others have wants, needs, and desires then [and only then] will we talk about regular outings without her. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it is necessary. I work full time, I choose to leave her 3 days a week because I want to stay in our house and be able to put food on the table.

So for now, I will hold her, I will respond when she cries, I will continue to meet her needs immediately. She will sleep with me, where she feels safe and secure, until she feels safe sleeping alone. And when she ventures into the other room alone, I will let her and applaud her exploration, and let her learn in [baby] steps. 

People will say, if you don't push them and challenge them they won't learn. Yes, I agree. When you're speaking of intellectual learning and motor skills. I've placed toys out of reach to encourage rolling and crawling, placed her on her feet knowing she may only stand for a second or two. We play with puzzles she's far from conquering  repeating the name of each animal as we go, asking her to repeat me. These things I agree you need challenges to learn.

Emotional learning I feel is different. It's a more delicate balance, and just like anything else everyone learns at a different pace. You cannot teach trust without being present and available, involved. These things cannot be challenged in the way you use challenges to learn other skills. You have to let the child figure it out on their own. 

We are an impatient society. We want learning now. We want our 6 month olds to walk because we don't have time to carry them and do house work. We want our 1 year olds to talk because we don't have time to figure out what they want. We want our 3 week olds to sleep through the night because we have things to do and need more sleep ourselves. 

So I challenge you, slow down. Let our children be children. Love them, be involved. And let them learn some things own their own time.

Things we 'just don't talk about'

I hear it every day.

"We just don't tell people anymore."              

"I've stopped talking about it."

"We say 'sure is' when people ask."

It seems the culture to raise 'independent' children is so strong headed that the growing number of us that refuse to fit into that mold fall into silence. So here goes ...

Yes, I am still nursing my nine month old, and I plan to until she decides she no longer needs the nourishment  physical and emotional.
Yes, my daughter sleeps in bed with me. We start her in her crib at bedtime, and she sleeps there for naps.
Yes, she still wakes at night. In fact night waking is normal at this age, and for a while.
Yes, I let her play and explore as she wants. Am I afraid of germs? Sometimes. Is it going to stop me from letting her eat leaves and dirt? Only because it's a choking hazard.
Yes, when she whines or cries, I pick her up. I comfort her. I show her that people are here to help her, that she is not alone, and never will be.

No, I will not let her 'cry it out'. How upset would you be if you were ignored for no apparent reason?
No, I will not give her formula to help her sleep better. In fact she eats solid food like a champ. Still wakes at night. Still normal.
No, I we don't go on regular date nights. I have 'date night' every night at 7pm when she goes to bed. If my daughter cannot come with me/us then I'm going to think long and hard before I go.

So tell me, what do you not admit to when people ask?

Here it goes ...

One thing I have learned these short nine months that I have a lot to learn.

I'm new to this parenting gig. The proud mother of a beautiful, smart 9 month old baby girl and a 5 year old kitten; wife to [quite possibly] the most amazing husband there is. Note I said 'amazing' and not 'perfect'. 

I also work full time as an RN at the local hospital, caring for mostly patients after abdominal surgeries [gall bladders, appendix, bowel resections, and the like]. We live on a quite suburban street with many other young families. My husband is a full time student (also medical field). Nothing too exciting. Day to day life.

Being a nurse, I research EVERYTHING. I'm talking review of the current research studies on shampoos. [Well maybe not that bad.] We've decided at Attachment Parenting fits our personalities, lifestyles, and the way we want to parent the best. I am not offended if you don't agree with anything I post or believe, all I ask is that you are nice about it and I will do the same. Nice is one thing we can agree we all want to teach our children [neighbors, spouses, families, coworkers, friends, store clerks, telemarketers ...] and modeling is the best way to teach. 

I started this page as a place to write and reflect, share and receive.  Nothing special. [Maybe  to get away from Facebook a bit too.] Glad to have you. Please make yourself at home. :o)

Madison and I playing in the park with Daddy.