Pythagorean Theorem

I was [again] recently told that I need to spend time away from her so I can show her how to be a strong, independent adult. "Being away from her is good for her, let her see you being independent and successful." It just didn't feel right. [Not to mention how is a 9 month old supposed to know what I'm doing when she can't see me.] Then it dawned on me ... 

You can't teach the Pythagorean Theorem without first teaching addition.

She needs to learn trust, self esteem, love and caring, and in her own time will learn autonomy. These are [baby] steps. You can't force a child to learn independence before they master trust, just as you can't force advanced algebra before addition is mastered, along with many other [baby] steps in between. 

Once she is older [much older] and can comprehend that others have wants, needs, and desires then [and only then] will we talk about regular outings without her. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it is necessary. I work full time, I choose to leave her 3 days a week because I want to stay in our house and be able to put food on the table.

So for now, I will hold her, I will respond when she cries, I will continue to meet her needs immediately. She will sleep with me, where she feels safe and secure, until she feels safe sleeping alone. And when she ventures into the other room alone, I will let her and applaud her exploration, and let her learn in [baby] steps. 

People will say, if you don't push them and challenge them they won't learn. Yes, I agree. When you're speaking of intellectual learning and motor skills. I've placed toys out of reach to encourage rolling and crawling, placed her on her feet knowing she may only stand for a second or two. We play with puzzles she's far from conquering  repeating the name of each animal as we go, asking her to repeat me. These things I agree you need challenges to learn.

Emotional learning I feel is different. It's a more delicate balance, and just like anything else everyone learns at a different pace. You cannot teach trust without being present and available, involved. These things cannot be challenged in the way you use challenges to learn other skills. You have to let the child figure it out on their own. 

We are an impatient society. We want learning now. We want our 6 month olds to walk because we don't have time to carry them and do house work. We want our 1 year olds to talk because we don't have time to figure out what they want. We want our 3 week olds to sleep through the night because we have things to do and need more sleep ourselves. 

So I challenge you, slow down. Let our children be children. Love them, be involved. And let them learn some things own their own time.