Get your priorities crooked.

"You've been home all day, what have you done!"

Many, if not all, of you have heard this, or said it, at one time or another. I've said it, my husband has said it, I hear it from my friends. My husband and I get in to this discussion over and over. It baffles me, and those I know.

"I cleaned the whole house, what do you mean what have I done?"

Each of us thinks we've done
              everything,
                    and the other has done
                                     nothing.
                                                                We all know that's not possible.

So I got to thinking, if this is such a relevant and widespread issue, there has to be a simple reason and therefore a simple solution.

Then during a conversation with a friend, it hit me. There is a simple reason, and a {somewhat} simple solution.

Ready ... drum roll ... priorities. It all boils down to priorities.

The reason we feel the other didn't do anything, is because they didn't do anything on our list of priorities.

This pictures is a perfect example. My husband was so proud of himself that he had cleaned the bathroom while I was out. I went upstairs expecting an organized bathroom, things all put in their place and tidy. This is what I saw instead. I was immediately upset, thinking 'he didn't clean a thing!'

What had he done? The floor was mopped, the toilet clean, the sink and mirror wiped down. His priorities. Notice the toilet cleaner on the sink.

To him he had cleaned the bathroom because his priorities had been met. To me he had done nothing because mine had not.

In our busy lives of babies, school, work, and wanting to enjoy life, we can't get it all done. We know we can't get it all done, that's why we create this lists of priorities in the first place.

So what do you do to solve this recurring annoyance?

First, be aware that your priorities are rarely going to match those of your partner. That's actually good, it means that more stuff gets done. {You don't dust the mantel 15 times and never vacuum the floor.}

Ask your partner what they'd like you to do, and make them be specific. You may be surprised what's on the top of their list.

Start a monthly list. Make sure you both contribute your priorities to the list and whenever you have a minute complete a task. If your list is anything like ours, it will be clear what items you'll do versus your partner. This way both of your priorities get met. You both get your calm.

Keep the list simple and short, remember there's only 28-31 days to complete it, and you also have to do dishes and clothes in the between time. We keep ours to 10 or so a month.

So remember that you do both have different lists and that's okay, and not everything is going to be done, and that's okay. So do what you can, and appreciate and acknowledge what your partner has done.

And then snuggle and marvel at how well you've raised your children {or dog, or cat, or plants}, kept a home, and manage to still love each other.

*"Get your priorities crooked" is a direct quote from Mitch Hedberg.