Never Say Never

This is the story of Madison's birth. I want to tell it for several reasons but most importantly, because when I was pregnant no one told me what a C. Section could be. All you hear is what it's not.

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The morning of March 22nd started like any other day. Got up, showered, searched my closet for something that would fit over my enormous belly. My husband was at work so my friend came with me to my weekly OB appointment. At my visit the week before [37 weeks] my belly was measuring 42 weeks so this weeks visit started with an ultrasound, just to "see what we're dealing with".

I had countless conversations with my OB over the last weeks about how I wanted our little girl's birthday to go. 

"No epidural."

           "No pain medications." 

                            "No Pit, I hear it just makes the pain worse."

                                                "Calm, quiet, natural."

I had a very clear view of how I wanted things to go, and a birth plan in hand. We prepared, we researched, we read book after book, blog after blog, article after article. [I warned you I research a lot.] We attended Bradley Birthing Classes. We knew what we wanted. We [thought] we knew all he latest research on everything.

So I went into the appointment thinking, "sure we'll do the ultrasound, we're still going to wait for Madison to decide her birthday." I was laying on the table, warm jell spread over my belly when I hear the tech, These things can be inaccurate because we can't get the whole baby in one picture." and then with a pause, "She may be 9 pounds. Probably 8 and a half. Maybe 8. Maybe 9." No wonder I was huge! No wonder my uterus was 'irritable' and I had been having contractions for weeks. No wonder! 9 POUNDS?!?! 

37 weeks.

Okay, we can handle this. That's big but ultrasounds are always wrong. Right?

So we waited to see the doctor. 9 pounds? 9 pounds? 9 POUNDS!? It was all I could think. So we sit down with Dr. T. I expected to hear that we'd wait and see, I expected to hear that she was sure Madison was closer to 8 pounds if that. Based on our previous conversations, I expected a lot of things. I did not expect what I heard.

"You look miserable and I'm affraid she's probably closer to 9 pounds. I think our best bet at a vaginal birth is induction."

Yes? No? Yes? No? Maybe?

So I went home and researched ... and researched. I looked up my chances of a C. Section based on my current status. Regular contractions, check. Dilated, 2 cm, check. Effaced, 70%, check. Looked like my chances are low. We talked, I researched, we talked, I researched. I was miserable. These contractions hurt! I asked many people for opinions, many said to wait, many others said to go ahead. In my heart I wanted to wait, but she was right, I was miserable. Four weeks of strong constant contractions was wearing on me.

So we scheduled the induction for 39 weeks.

March 29th, 2013. 

So I went in March 28th to stay overnight. Foley bulb to dilate my cervix a bit more failed, and HURT! So cervadil it was. Everyone that walked in the room had two things to say, "Can you feel these contractions?" and "Wow, you're big." Yes and thanks. Yes and thanks. I wanted it tattooed on my forehead. 

So the next morning they started the pitocin. Within hours we were at 5cm, totally effaced. Progressing well. Yay. And as a bonus, I found the contractions weren't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. 

10 hours later, my water had broken on it's own, but ... we were still at 5cm and she just wasn't going to drop any further. They said the dreaded words: Cesarean Section. I cried, I asked if there was any other options, I asked if we could wait longer. "Yes, I'll let you labor for days if you like, but I just don't believe she's going to be able to drop any further."

But then came the conversation I didn't expect.

"Do you want immediate skin to skin." Of course, is that an option? "We're going to make sure you're breastfeeding as soon as possible." Oh, okay. Maybe this isn't so bad?

Within hours I was draped, numb from the waist down and ready to go. Madison was out before I knew it, crying, as was I. She was checked over and placed on my chest while they finished and closed me up. Sure it involved surgery, but I had my first moments. Madison, my husband and I spent the first 30 minutes of her life together, as a family. Not torn apart in separate corners of the OR as I had imagined. And as I look back, she didn't know or care if mommy and daddy were wearing funny hats. I spent those minutes staring into her tiny face. Just the three of us. I could hear the doctors and nurses doing their jobs, and needed occasional help to keep her from falling of my chest. But those minutes were ours, minutes I didn't think would happen if she had to be removed via section. Minutes I will remember forever.

Immediately after Madison's birth.

So they finished with me, I handed our baby girl to daddy who escorted her back to our room, where I joined them shortly. And within an hour, Madison was latched and nursing, like a champ.

Daddy and Baby Girl.

Just after first nursing.

Was it the birthday I envisioned ... well yes. I labored without an epidural or pain medications for 10 hours, giving both of us the endorphins and hormones that come with labor. [Sure longer may have been better, but I'll take what I can get.]

She was born in an albeit bright room, but it was calm, our music playing, laughter and conversation, mom and dad by her side.

She was placed immediately on my chest for skin to skin, and was nursing within an hour.

She was alert, not druged. She was perfect!

 

I know what you're thinking. Was the ultrasound right? So at 38 weeks they thought she was around 8 and a half pounds. At 39 weeks ... 9 pounds 13 ounces. So yes, the ultrasound was pretty close.

Looking back, would I induce again?

No, but not because anything didn't go the way I wanted. More because I now know that a C. Section isn't the worse thing that can happen and will give an unmedicated vaginal birth the best try I have.

Given my current knowledge on due dates and development, I will let my next little one stay snug for as long as they're safe.

But know that just because you have to have a section, doesn't mean you have to give up those first few moments. 

And Madison's birthday was perfect!

 

 

So tell me, what did you not expect about your little one's birthday?